A Family Album

Let's label everything

I have traditionally been both forthright on the internet and not: forthright about my opinions, but not forthright always about the labels and identities we hold. But the makeup of my family and things I have been through will inform what I write about, and I think it’s time to label us. Ha!

My immediate family is comprised of:

B. - my wonderful spouse, who is a therapist by vocation. She is trans, and came out in her 40s after we celebrated our 20th wedding anniversary. I think her coming out probably saved our marriage. She is neurodivergent with Tourette’s syndrome and something else that manifests with a lot of the executive function challenges of ADHD but is definitely not ADHD - the rest of us baffle her - ha!

A. - My only kiddo who is 7 in 2025. He is Autistic, has ADHD combined type, and is off the charts brilliant - all things that are both challenges and delights. We are learning that even “low support” Autism is not actually LOW support, and that it’s also a joy to navigate support with him. He sees the world in vibrant color and will talk your ear off about all kinds of things. He may also be genderspicy - the jury is out.

Me - I have ADHD inattentive type and was diagnosed in my 40s. I’m a teacher by trade, and currently teach AP English Language and Composition with an American Lit focus and ASL 1. I also have struggled with generalized anxiety disorder and major depression at times, although I’m currently in remission. I identify as Pansexual, and have realized that what I am really attracted to is swagger. I’m cis and white and grew up with many of the ideas and prejudices you would expect from that identity. I am also no longer a Christian Scientist. I feel that all religion is valid, it’s just the framework we put on the world. The Christian framework feels most at home to me, but have been struggling to find a church that is all the things I want (notably, enthusiastically welcoming to my family).

Mossimo the Wonder Cat, and Mary Contrary - our two cats, who do not get along with each other. We’re working on it.

My extended family:

…on my Mom’s side is mostly from Maine, and I spent summers there on the beach throughout my youth running wild with dozens of cousins. My grandfather was the postmaster and a recreational lobsterman. My grandmother, who died when my mother was in her early 20s, was fire and brimstone religious but a staunch helper. My vast collection of aunts and uncles are a lot of fun. My mom was stay-at-home when I was younger, and a high-level student health executive for the Cal State system when I was older.

…on my dad’s side moved to California when the Christian Science Monitor sent my sportswriter grandfather to cover the Lakers in the 1970s, and we were all raised Christian Science. My grandmother was a sculptor and artist, and spent so much time with my sister and I that she was almost like a second mother. My great grandparents were subsequently vaudeville performers and Irish, and the showmanship is rampant. My dad co-owned a graphic design business with my aunt for much of my youth (before the personal computer became a thing) and then pivoted to teaching special ed, eventually retiring as an assistant superintendent for special education. There are a large collection of us that are neurodivergent with diagnoses. We still get together most weekends to have breakfast.

My parents divorced when I was a Freshman in high school, and they still don’t speak to each other unless forced by A. birthday parties. My mom is remarried, my dad is not.

I think that’s it. We’re all a collection of odd parts and pieces that were handed down from our families, and this collection is mine. I hope it gives a better understanding of where I’m coming from in the post I add to this blog in the future.